10 Things West Africa Has Taught Me [Part One]

#1 Be Thankful
I learned, like everyone, to say "Thank you" at a pretty young age. I learned that "Thank you" expressed appreciation for something that benefited me. I used it as a way to "repay" the blessing that I was given. Honestly, that's a pretty small box. I didn't feel obliged to say thank you very often because it wasn't very frequent that someone did something for me that I felt was special enough to warrant thanks. And if it did, then more often than not it was automatic. The person didn't think twice about passing the salt, and I didn't think twice about thanking her for it.

Coming here, all of that changed. I was thanked for living here, for coming to an event, for joining choir, for doing my homework, for participating in an event, for giving someone a gift. If you are thinking this is normal, either you grew up here in Africa, or you have envisioned the wrong people doing the thanking. When I said I was thanked for attending an event, I wasn't referring to the person who invited me; it was someone who wasn't even there. When I said I was thanked for joining the choir, I wasn't referring to the director; it was some church member that I had never seen before. When I said I was thanked for doing my homework, I wasn't referring to my teacher; it was someone who saw me studying. When I said I was thanked for giving a gift, I wasn't referring to the person who received the gift; I meant the friend of the person who received the gift.

Now does it seem odd? It's hard to say that it's possible to say too many thank yous, but I believe that often in America I say too few. I even forget to thank those who deserve it because thanks isn't a priority in my mind. I think God is often robbed because of that. Here, when someone thanks you, it is a common response among Christians to redirect the thanks to God. "Thank you for coming!" "No, thank God!" Because ultimately God enables all things, and we miss countless opportunities to appreciate him.

#2 Get your priorities straight: People, events, time -- in that order

My American culture practically worships the clock. We obey it, we take care of it, we let it rule our lives. I wonder if because of that, special events have become stressful. Parties become hectic and chaotic because all of the games have to get into the time frame, be in the right order, and go the way Pinterest or our imagination dictates. It's not a success if it starts late, goes long, or something unexpected happens.

I used to be slightly annoyed with the flexibility here for events. They would start an hour late, go two hours long, and the fact that the schedule was not being followed was evident. "That's not how this is supposed to be! Church is supposed to be perfect!" I used to think. But then I remembered the pressure put on the worship team to flawlessly transition between songs, the pressure on the tech crew to keep the slides moving. The annoyance and judgmental attitude I had when the pastor's sermon went long, the special music wasn't Radio worthy, and the worship team forgot the words to the song. Or how devastated I would be at a wedding that was "ruined" by some unexpected, unavoidable bumble. The more I think about it, the more I see that I had lost sight of the real point of these events.

Here, it matters more that you come, than that you fly around the house frantically getting ready so that you can be seated before the appointed time. Here, it matters more that it happens, than that it should happen in the correct order. Here, it matters more that you are singing and praising God, than the fact that the microphone cut in the middle of your song, no one planned your song into the schedule, church will get out late as a result, and the song isn't new, exciting, or stunning, it's simply true and sincere.

I don't want to blindly follow one method without weighing all of the pros and cons, so I'll just hold on to valuing the person over a paper schedule and the reason for the event over the way the event unfolds.


#3 God performs miracles

Of course I would've had to affirm this statement before I moved overseas because what good christian doesn't believe in miracles?? But my prayers were more often than not prayers of duty or prayers for the sly primary purpose of giving me peace over the true healing of the person in question. I viewed all stories of miracles outside of the bible with the hilarious skepticism of the child that I was.

All of that changed here. I prayed for an opportunity, and God threw open the door to the church choir. I prayed for comfort, and he sent me a best friend in said choir. As a church we prayed over the students with serious tests coming up, and many passed. That meant so much to me, the fact that I prayed specifically for my friends and saw God come through even more than I could have expected.

He is continually answering prayers that can only prove to me more fully the limitless faithfulness and power of my God. So, when I hear stories of Christians praying over someone who is extremely sick and learn of their miraculous recovery and acceptance of Christ, I believe it. I believe it because these people here have taught me to believe and pray like I believe, because I have seen it in my own life, God speaking to me in ways that can only display his power and love.

#4 Laughter builds the best friendships

Laughter is underestimated I think--its ability to heal, to create bonds, to transform. Now, I even place its importance above perfect communication in a shared language. If I can laugh with you, at me or something else, there's a good chance we'll have some sort of friendship.

Making friends is hard, even in your own culture. The unknown is scary. Unknown people have secrets. Are they like me? Do they think I'm weird? Did I offend them without knowing it? And then cross-culturally there are even more worries on top of that. Well, maybe just confusion. [Are we speaking the same language? Cuz I understood every word of that sentence but have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.]

But laughing together feels like a soul hug. It tells me that we both know we are different in more ways than I could ever dream, but we are accepting the differences and loving the other anyway. It means I'm forgiving your cultural blunders, and I'm believing that you are smart, polite, funny, and eloquent in some other language and place. It highlights the most important similarities that usually don't weigh enough in the "how-much-alike-are-we-can-we-even-be-friends?" analysis: humanity, and Christianity. It's a wonderful feeling too feel accepted by your own people, a feeling that is often way too easy to chase after. But it's an AMAZING feeling to be accepted by people who see the canyon of differences between you and laugh anyway. Thank you, dear friends!

#5 The plans of humans shall fail, but luckily God knows what he's doing

More plans of my own have failed living here than I can recall or even count if I could remember them. Every day something goes "wrong". The internet goes out at a critical moment, rain cancels important events, roads disappear overnight, sickness conquers suddenly, unavoidable events pop up at the last second, traffic is abnormally stuck, stores have closed, flights are canceled, paperwork loses a snail race...the list goes on and on. I'm learning how to be flexible the hard way.

Life is an adventure story, but God is the one doing the choosing. Often I think I'm in a "choose-your-own-adventure" story, but I don't think I've ever been more wrong. I'm so thankful that he continues to give opportunity after opportunity to respond with excitement when God takes the wheel, to say "Ooh, what does God have in mind that is even more better than my original plan!" Because after all of this practice, I still forget that He is in control and that what happens happens for a reason. It's definitely a humbling experience when God repeatedly takes away your control, repeatedly forces you to cede to a higher power, repeatedly reminds you that you are privileged to be a pawn in his game, but you are a pawn, and not the queen.

To be continued...

-Kae-